by Christianne Zurowski - ICF Certified Life Coach - B.A., B.Ed., C.O.C., C.E.C.
So, I had this client…
Her name was Jane (we’ll call her that for anonymity), and she was tired of feeling stuck and overlooked.
The Challenge - Conversation Disconnect
Despite her ability to be curious & carry a conversation, Jane tends to leave conversations feeling invisible. She usually asks a lot of questions and knows a lot about the people around her but, sadly, they never end up knowing much about her. In the end, she feels that nobody really gets her, her opinion gets overlooked at work and with friends, the gifts & invites she receives rarely hit the mark, and she never quite belongs anywhere.
The Embodied Pattern
As we began our coaching sessions, Jane revealed her pattern: whenever someone asked for her opinion, her body would instinctively shrink down & recoil. She was already aware of this, but coaching offered her the ability to see what she couldn’t see for herself.
I was able to mirror for her that her shoulders curled in, her head dropped & her voice got smaller and I helped her observe that she was holding her breath and that her chest & throat both felt tight. Jane noted that it was much like a turtle tucking in to instinctively protect itself.
These patterns were DECADES old and Jane was completely unaware that her body was doing this.
She felt she had lots to say and so badly WANTED to be a part of conversations, but her body was unconsciously working against her, creating a hidden blind spot that kept her from fully engaging in conversations.
The Coaching Approach
Now this is where the fun starts for me: using embodied coaching to uncover and unravel covert patterns. We ran with the turtle metaphor and had Jane literally & metaphorically come out of from her shell. With a bit of silliness, we both walked around the room mimicking the turtle—pendulating between sticking our necks out and tucking them back in. Yes, we laughed a lot!!
And to ground this exercise, we added positive affirmations to help re-connect the mind & body:
“I am safe and I have much to contribute.”
“I choose to be brave and share my opinions."
“I choose connection instead of protection.”
The Confidence Transformation
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “Am I really going to do that in a real-life situation?!” And you’re right to question!
That’s why we layered in concrete daily practices to help Jane break free from old habits.
First, we role-played past tricky situations, allowing her to practice responding differently—both verbally and physically.
Then, we introduced an archetypal “taking up space” pose to teach her body what it felt like to be big and confident.
But let’s be real: nobody is going to stand like a starfish or walk around like a turtle in public!
This is where I get to meet clients where they’re at and help them create a personalized micro-pose, a subtle somatic cue to remind the body to act differently. By tapping into one’s felt-sense, the body gets prompted to a new way of being, instead of getting lost in over-thinking.
In Jane’s case, whenever someone asked her a vulnerable question and she felt that familiar recoil, she practiced sliding her foot forward, both metaphorically and physically stepping IN to the conversation. VIOLA! This small, intentional movement allowed her to step into her confidence and connect with the sensation of taking up space so that she could finally share her thoughts and opinions in the moment.
Key Takeaways - How to change your embodied patterns
Jane’s journey is a testament to the power of embodied coaching and self-awareness. What I love most is that we were able to arrive at meaningful change without ever discussing the WHY. There was no need for a deep dive into the past or unpacking the dirty laundry. Simply by recognizing and transforming her automatic responses, she learned how to participate more fully in conversations.
Here are a few tips for anyone looking to step IN to their confidence:
Identify Your Patterns: Notice how your body responds in those situations.
Create Playful Imagery: Use metaphors or characters to help visualize your transformation.
Practice in Safe Spaces: Role-play scenarios where you can physically feel and embody confidence.
Develop a Micro-Pose: Find a subtle cue that reminds you to feel the essence of confidence and take up space in the moment.
Stepping into your voice can feel daunting, but with practice, intention, and maybe a little silliness, you can transform the way you show up and connect with others.
Does this style of coaching pique your interest? Maybe you are ready to find some transformation of your own? If so, book your complimentary Jumpstart session to experience how Embodiment Coaching can help YOU.
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